It could always be worse!

Right now I am having tremendous problem with my back. While it is not the worst pain I have ever felt with it, it still enough that lays me up that I cant go anywhere or do anything. It is very frustrating. I am very frustrated. Well, right I am not because I just spent some time with the Lord and He says:

"It could be worse"

And how right He is. Right now even in my own world there is: 1. My pastor is facing life changes due to diabetes, almost lost his foot, still not out of the woods and is having to be in a wheelchair for who knows how long! 2. One of my favorites students just lost his great grandmother, is being shunned by his immediate family and faces another life change with meeting his other family he has never met before two weeks ago. 3. my former music minister is dealing with recurrence of cancer, all new treatments and meds 4. a friend told us of her friend that was put in a coma due to seizures and 5. one of the lovely ladies of our church is facing knee replacement at a senior age.

"It could be worse"

When this happens I am always tempted to be selfish. to throw a pity party. to worry. with is stupid because not only is worry a SIN but stress and worry makes my back worse. I am not facing any major crisis. I KNOW that i will get better and be back to my obnoxious self soon. I know the Lord will take care of the ministry if i am not there. I KNOW all this stuff.

"It could be worse"

I don't know if anyone will read this. Maybe it was just for me to get it all out. I know this doesn't have to do with ministry except for the fact that all ministers face tests, pain, suffering, stress and problems. so rest in the fact that the Lord is in control He will handle it.

John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world"

"It could be worse"

The Numbers Game

Just got back from youth night at our Fall Revival. Here are my thoughts.

You would think after almost 15 years in student ministry the number of students that show up for an event wouldnt get to me. But tonight it sure did. We have had this youth night for the revival planned for the longest time. Real simple. FREE PIZZA and a more youth friendly service. The student drama team had a drama that was awesome and the students were excited to get kids there. 72 was thier goal.

So all afternoon I kept messages via text, facebook etc that their friends were backing out and some of the regulars weren't even coming. So by the time I left for church I was convinced no one was going to come. I spent the good first 45 minutes of the time there sulking and stressing about students showing up.

Dont get me wrong. My heart was in the right place. I wanted so many students to come. To see lives changed. To see God's power move. But I let it get to me. You think after this much time I realize that God is going to bring exactly who He wants to bring there. The numbers are up to Him, not me.

I won't get into the numbers, but we had more show up then we usually have on a wednesday night. We had 9 new students and alot of parents of our regulars who arent believers came. SO that was awesome. Then the Lord slapped me silly when we had 2 salvations and 1 rededication. Man was I humbled. It reminded me of a important lesson I needed to learn again.

Luke 15:10 (New International Version)
"In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."

Praise the Lord for tonight.

Am I only the youth minister?

I have come to find that most churches break their staff into sections. Or ministries if you may. There is the pastor, associate pastor, Music, children’s and youth. Maybe there is also senior adults, education, missions etc. Everyone has their respected area of focus. The question, I wonder, is when does the areas overlap. And how much say do each staff member get in the overall vision and direction of the church?

First I want to say, that whatever the vision the pastor has for the church, my ministry (students) should fall in line and compliment that vision. You cannot take the student ministry in total opposite of your pastors. The thought here is, does the pastor and the pastor only decide what is best for the church and the vision? I am blessed that I have a pastor that takes a more team approach and likes input from all staff members. But there are some that only go with what the Lord tells them, and think that each minister should just stay in their "area" or ministry.

I think that if you dichotomize yourself and only stay in your bubble then you are missing out on extra blessings. My ministry has always tried (and failed) to help all the ministries of the church where it can. In the children's ministry, our church would not survive VBS if not for the youth that are working. In the music ministry the students help play in the band. When all the ministries come together and work as a team. The whole church does great things. Its not just the youth. the pastoral stuff. the music. Its all parts working as one.

College Students are in Charge! YIKES?

This past Wednesday night I got a call that my grandmother was ill and my grandpa thought we should make a trip to go see her. She is better now, thank goodness. But here is what I learned from this.

We have a philosophy here in our ministry that we let the college students stick around the ministry after they graduate high school. We called them College Help and there are certain standards that they are asked to uphold to be there. High standards that push them to be mature. We spend a lot time training our students when they get the junior/senior years of High School about how to be leaders and how the ministry is ran. Some of them are going into ministry, some are not.

So by time they graduated out HS, they are involved in most aspects of the ministry. This can range from leading worship, giving testimony, being in charge of projects, and some old fashion gopher work. But we train them, we invest in them and we push them. Why do we do this?

The obvious reason is that it keeps them accountable. Keeps them focused and continues their growth in the Christian walk. But with what happened with us on Wednesday, another amazing aspect shines. They know how to run things. Our college students, while we were gone: Did it all. The worship, the games, the set up, the speaking, the prizes, ALL OF IT. They were equipped and ready to go. It pays to spend the effort and time training them for this. Has it been tough? YES. Do they fail? YES. But when they succeed? AMAZING.

I am very proud of them. They did great job. It took off a lot of stress. There are a lot of student ministries out there that remove students as soon as they graduate. If it is done right. Done with organization and hard expectations. Then having them stick around is a WIN-WIN-WIN situation. For you, them and the ministry.

Cardinals Game = Ministry???

Is student ministry strictly for inside the church walls? Having grown up in a split family and not living with either parent. I came to realize that LOVE is often spelled TIME.

Last night I got the chance to take one of our 7th grade students to a Cardinals game. It was the first game he had been to in 3 years and the last time he sat way up high in the nosebleeds. Our seats last night were two rows behind the bullpen. He loved the improvement. Throughout the game I had the joy of watching him just have a blast. He never stopped smiling, he was doing all the cheers (CHARGE!), booing the Brewers, cheering the Redbirds. It was an honor to just see the excitement. It got me thinking.

You know, we only see these students maybe 7 hours a week if we are lucky and they come to everything they can come to. 7 hours! If you think that you can effectively reach and disciple a student in 7 hours a week you need to rethink your ministry. Jesus modeled the fact that He spent a tons of time with his disciples. Living with them, traveling with them and of course teaching them. You have to spend time with students outside of church. You need to take the extra step and be in their lives.

This student’s joy was contagious. It made me digress back to being in 7th grade. Then I only I got to go to one game a summer. In some ways it was more special than being able to go more now. The next thing I knew I was doing all the cheers (everybody clap your hands!), I was booing the brewers and when Holliday hit the 3 run homer the lead, we both went crazy!

I go on about how this student’s home life not the best. How, at 12 yrs old, he is stressed out all the time. But the point of this to realize that I spent a good 6 hours with him yesterday. A lot of talk was about baseball, sure. But there was also plenty talk about home, church events coming up, and just plain encouragement. When Franklin struck out the final batter and fireworks went off. The joy that he was showing, the happiness, the stress free feeling. THAT is ministry. I loved every second of it.

SPEND TIME WITH STUDENTS OUTSIDE OF CHURCH!

How to Give Students Advice.

In view of my last post it got me thinking. Students may not always listen to advice. Many may push that advice in one ear and send it out the other. Still, what is the best way to give students advice? They always need help, they always ask for help. What is the best way to do it? Trust me, I am not an expert at all but I offer some pointers:

1. Don’t do it all the time. Trust me. When a student feels that all your relationship is about them sitting there and you telling them how to live. They tune out very quick. You need to build trust with a student first. Spend time with them. Why would someone want to take your advice if you have shown no interest in their lives? Pick your times. Even if that student is asking for advice, it may not be the right time to do it then. Pray and get back to them later.

2. Avoid answering quickly. Let them get everything out before you speak. Even asked them what they want for you. Ask them if they want advice at that moment. Sometimes they realize or you realize that what really is going on, is that they just needed to get some stuff off their chests. If it is a real serious issue. NEVER be afraid to tell them that you want to take some time to pray and see what the Lord says about this issue. Never give into the pressure that you have to answer right then and there.

3. Use personal experiences. Students relate more to you if you are being real with them. Don’t be afraid to open up and share your own mistakes and failures. They need to see that you can relate too. If the topic they are needing advice, and you cant relate to, then guide them to an adult who may have had that struggle. For example, I have never had trouble with alcohol. So I help them find advice from a strong believer who can help them.

4. If you are over head. Admit It. You are not perfect. You don’t know everything. Especially everything about the Bible. If you don’t know the answer, never be ashamed to say that you need to research the topic some more and get back to them. Never give wrong advice because you are embarrassed by lack of knowledge.

5. Don’t get defensive back. Students, especially emotional ones, have a tendency to get very defensive, angry when you push them to a higher standard. If you have the same tendency (like I do!) when they start to attack, don’t attack back. It becomes an endless cycle that helps no one. Be patient with them. Stay Calm. Stop and pray if it gets out of control. But keep the focus off the anger.

I hope this helps. They don’t always listen. But we need to keep trying to push our students to higher standards. We must not give up. We must stay focused on the end results of their walk. (thanks Gene!)

The First BLOG!

Well. For years people in my life have been telling me to write a book about Student/Youth Ministry. Now 13 years into it, I still feel that I am in no way the right person to tell people how to do student ministry. Yet, people keep on telling to write about it. So, thanks to my duties as a great husband, my wife and just saw the new movie Julie and Julia. My wife (a very wise woman) encouraged that if I did not want to write a book maybe I should start small and write a Blog. So here we are.

I will strive be open, honest, vulnerable and helpful in this blog. Will anything come of it? No idea. Will I start this and then ultimately lose interest? I don't know. All I do know is that I have been on a roller coaster ride in my years in Student Ministry. I have had some incredible highs and some incredible lows. I have seen students do things that blew my mind, both good and bad.

My heart has been extremely blessed and my heart has been extremely broken.

My hope would be that the people out there that might read this will be blessed. I think I have some good ideas for Student Ministry. Especially for those out there trying to start up a ministry. Even though I have my degree from Southwest Baptist University and am a Ordained minister, I dont know everthing. My hope would be that people would see the love that I have for students and for my Lord in this blog. Some of my standards in life will offend my fellow ministers and maybe some of my students but that is ok. I strive to a life that is Holy and Set Apart. I fail all the time.

None of this blog is to be taken as the right answer or a quick fix. It is only my outlet to see I really "know" anything about Student and Youth Ministry. If I come across conceited or close minded that is not my goal. This blog is about Surviving Student Ministry. Which, after 13 years, I am still trying to do. I am currently the Youth Minister at Villebrooke Baptist Church in Hazelwood, MO.

A special thanks needs to be said to all those who have encouraged me over the years to write about Student Ministry. So thanks to Darren, Bob, Kenny, BJ, COMER, Dan, Jingle, Troy, Chad, Jackley, Grubby and My lovely bride and best friend.

I have made it this far. Here goes...something?.....