Don't Bow - DNOW 2012

Today was the end of our first DNOW with the students at McCarthy Baptist Church. #WinningSM has really taken off in the first six months that we have been here and I am really excited to see what God has in store!

The whole weekend was called 2: Don't Bow! It focused on getting rid of all of our idols (things, activities, or people we put before God) and really getting to know God face to face for the first time or maybe the first time in a long time. It was neat to watch the students as they began to realize all the things that they have been putting before God in their lives and then to start re-prioritizing things.

Not only was this DNOW awesome because of what God was doing and because it was the first one here, but it was also awesome because I had the privilege of working with so many of my former youth and grand-youth (youth who had one of my students as their youth minister)! Two of my girls, Gretel and Shaina, did a drama on Saturday night that was all about finding God and when you find Him--or more appropriately He finds you--holding on and never letting go. It was so amazing that I just have to share it with you below!

If you are in youth ministry, I pray you will see the blessing of God in yout ministry as I have witnessed in mine this weekend. If you aren't then I pray that you will still be able to see the power of God as He works in your life and that you will appreciate the hard work of the student workers in your church. Grace and peace to you, my friends. I hope you enjoy the drama.

13 Characteristics of a Growing Church: Hope

Hopes and dreams...our lives are full of them. We dream about the person that we are going to marry. We hope we will have children. We dream about the job that is going to make us happy and hopefully pay us well. We dream about going on the vacation of a lifetime. We hope to get that new car that is going to be oh so perfect for us.

These dreams push us to reach for something that is better and further than we are right now. They give us hope for the future, and they keep us going. If our hopes and dreams can do that for our personal lives then why can't they do the same for our churches?

So here's a quick recap of the Characteristics of a Growing Church:
1st Love Genuinely
2nd Hate What is Evil
3rd Cling to What is Good
4th Devoted to One Another
5th Humility
6th Excitement
7th Stability
8th Service

The 9th characteristic of a growing Church is Hope.
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12 NIV

The lack of joyful hope in our churches makes me more than a little heartsick. Without joy and hope our churches die. They stop dreaming and making plans for the future. Without hope you begin to think that things can never be any better than they are right now so why bother. We stop dreaming about creating new programs, reaching new people, and bringing Christ to new areas. We get stagnant.

My wife, Christiana, works at a local baptist children's home. She works in their Public Relations department and works with the churches all the time. One of her main responsibility is managing promotional materials sent to the churches and the mailing list for those supplies. The other day she was telling me how depressing it was that she had just received phone calls from three separate churches who asked to be removed from the mailing list because the churches were closing their doors. What went wrong? Why are our churches dying?

I think it is in part because we have lost hope. We are too stuck in our rut of how we have always done things and we worry so much about our finances that we forget what is really important. We stop focusing on God. We stop reaching people and we start losing hope and getting depressed. Finally, we decide that it's just not worth the trouble anymore and people aren't coming anymore anyway so we close the doors. That's why our churches are dying.

It's time that we stopped worrying and started to hope and dream again! Something new is bound to surface. Something great is on the horizon. God can do anything in our churches! We have hope. We should be joyful in that. But it's a conscious choice that we have to choose to make everday. It isn't easy. It's going to be hard work, but I think it's going to be worth it. Don't you?

More Resources:

• "Love the LORD, all his faithful people! The LORD preserves those who are true to him, but the proud he pays back in full. Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD." Psalm 31:23-24
• "We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name." Psalm 33:20-21
• "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:30-31
• "We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized." Hebrews 6:11

13 Characteristics of a Growing Church: Service

This week couldn't have been more perfect if I had actually planned it this way--which I didn't! So here we are in Kansas City, Missouri, on mission trip and today we are going to be talking about Serving the Lord! Let's just say that God blows my mind. I want to stop and praise the Lord a little bit before we jump in. Praise God that our car made it hear without issue after all the problems we had with our fuel system last week. Praise God that we all made it to Kansas City safely (despite the car problems some of the other teams suffered). And praise God for this opportunity to serve! Just so you know, I am probably going to take a break from this series on Wednesday and write a little ditty about mission trip, and I will be sure to post links if Christiana writes anything although I think she is waiting until we get home. So anyway, let's talk about serving God!

So here's a quick recap of the Characteristics of a Growing Church:
1st Love Genuinely
2nd Hate What is Evil
3rd Cling to What is Good
4th Devoted to One Another
5th Humility
6th Excitement
7th Stability

The 8th characteristic of a growing Church is Service.
"Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." Romans 12:11 NIV

I don't know about you but I think that Americans are really spoiled. For the most part our country is really great and we have a lot of freedoms--including religious ones. Just the fact that I can have a blog that's all about God and the things that He is teaching me and how I try to serve Him is a privilege that I often take for granted but others around the world would die for. I can go around and scream "I LOVE JESUS!!!" and all I will get are a few stares or some harsh words. Others could literally die for that. Then why aren't we as Americans taking advantage of our freedom to proclaim God and using it to serve Him? I personally think it's because we are lazy and we are worried about what our friends will think of us being "Jesus Freaks".

On Friday night I was really encouraged by one of our students. Planning for this mission trip has been difficult and there were a few times that we thought about calling it off completely. No one seemed to be excited about going to Kansas City to share Christ and to serve Him in 100+ degree heat. So I had some really mixed feelings about how things were going to turn out. Then Friday night came and so did Kody.

Kody is a new believer. This is His first ever mission trip, and He's still figuring out the whole Christian thing. Well Kody was supposed to come to our house at 9pm on Friday so that he and Scott could help us load stuff into our van bright and early Saturday morning. Kody got to our house at 8pm. His smile was beaming and his excitement was contagious. In fact, he was so excited about mission trip and coming over to help load stuff that he forgot half of his mission trip supplies including a sleeping bag, towel, pillow, water bottle, and Bible. I just laughed and was thankful that my wife keeps a stock of a few extra hospitality items. So Kody and I talked about how excited he was about mission trip while Christiana pulled out our extra sleeping bag, water, towels, Bible, and other items Kody needed.

I look forward to see if Kody's excitement continues as he serves God this week. Kody helped to remind me that a church that is focused on missions is a church that is focused on Christ. After all, Jesus' last instructions to His disciples were to go and tell all people about Him (Matt. 28:19-20). Why would they call it the Great Commission if it wasn't important? We constantly need to be serving not only other Christians but also anyone who comes in contact with the church and with us as Christians.

Serving wasn't a suggestion or just some great idea. It was a command. Go! Missions is one of the most obvious ways that we can serve God, but there are many other ways as well. Just because you can't get off work for a week to serve God in Kansas City or elsewhere doesn't mean that you get a free pass from serving. Find a need in your church or your community and meet it. You can do that. I know you can!

More Resources:

• International Mission Opportunities - International Mission Board
• North American Mission Opportunities - North American Mission Board
• International Missions for Teens - Royal Servants International

13 Characteristics of a Growing Church: Stability

If you have ever been inside the church walls for more than a few hours then there's a pretty good chance that you have heard someone talk about burnout. Why is that? Too often we as Christians and church members get too busy and too over-committed to doing stuff. All the stuff--even good stuff--can pull you away from God and from the fire of your faith. Therefore you get tired and you simply have nothing left to give. That's when you experience spiritual "burn out". You literally lose your spiritual fire and your desire to serve God. Today we are going to talk about keeping that fire (spiritual fervor) burning strong.

So here's a quick recap of the Characteristics of a Growing Church:
1st Love Genuinely
2nd Hate What is Evil
3rd Cling to What is Good
4th Devoted to One Another
5th Humility
6th Excitement

The 7th characteristic of a growing Church is Stability.
"Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." Romans 12:11 NIV

Think back to what I was just saying when I talked about spiritual burnout. Picture this... if you taken a hug glowing ember from a fire it is bright and white hot, but the longer it stays out of the fire the colder and dimmer it becomes. It's the same with us. You have to keep yourself in the fire if you are going to "keep your spiritual fervor". I'm going to call this stability.

Stability is all about being stable. You aren't up and down like a rollercoaster. You aren't in and out of church on a whim. You are doing everything you can to be consisten and consistently remain in Christ. As Christians, we are our own worst enemies when it comes to stability. We let our emotions keep us angry with our Christian brother or sister so we will skip church so that we don't have to see them. Or maybe we have allowed ourselves to be drawn into too many different ministries or areas of service and now we are angry and bitter toward the church or just plain numb.

If we are going to be stable Christians who can keep our spiritual fire and passion for God then we are going to have to start by taking care of ourselves. Fires that aren't fed die. You can't stay on fire for Christ if you aren't spending time with Him on a daily basis! No exceptions! You have to fan that love for Jesus and feed it with the Word and prayer. By not doing your quiet times you are pulling yourself away from the spiritual fire (Christ). The same goes for church--be there! Other Christians are meant to build us up and encourage us. You don't have to go to church and be fake. You should be real and honest. I know that sometimes that can be really painful and people don't always understand but some of them will. Then you will be surprised in the ways that God uses those understanding individuals to meet your needs and it's all because you were real. Lastly, learn how to say "No!" By all means, if you feel like God is calling you to serve in a certain area then do it, but a need does not necessitate a call. Just because there isn't a pre-school Sunday School teacher doesn't mean that you should be the one to take it over--especially if you already have a lot on your plate. Pray about it. If God says, "serve" then serve. If not then leave the opportunity open for the person God is calling to fill it.

More Resources:

13 Characteristics of a Growing Church: Excitement!

What does your calendar look like right now? What are you looking forward to doing? Maybe you have a special vacation planned or a friend who you are going to go see. Right now I am looking at my calendar and I see one BIG thing...Mission Trip! There is a whole 8 days blocked off for our mission trip to Kansas City, Missouri (and that doesn't even count prep time!). If you are interested in some more of the specifics about our trip, feel free to read Busy Week (written by my wife) which talks more about our trip. Anyway... I am excited about mission trip! If you can't tell, today we are talking about EXCITEMENT!

So here's a quick recap of the Characteristics of a Growing Church:
1st Love Genuinely
2nd Hate What is Evil
3rd Cling to What is Good
4th Devoted to One Another
5th Humility

The 6th characteristic of a growing Church is Excitement.
"Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." Romans 12:11 NIV

OK, I have said over and over that we are going to be talking about excitement but the verse above says "never be lacking in zeal" so I think that we should pause just a moment to talk about what zeal means.

According to Dictionary.com, Zeal is "fervor for a person, cause, or object; eager desire or endeavor; enthusiastic diligence; ardor." So some of these words are starting to sound familiar...enthusiastic...you know enthusiasm, but really who uses words like ardor? So the next best place we can check out is the thesaurus. I know, it's almost like school. However, these can be really great tools. Now we are really finding some words I think that we can all relate to: passion, fire, instensity, drive, and enthusiasm.

What makes you excited about church? About Christ? Whatever you can find to be passionate about in regards to church is where you should try to get involved. Are you excited about the little snot nosed preschoolers? Volunteer to help in the nursery! Maybe you love nothing better than a good, hard math problem...you should check out the budget and finance committees.

Don't let your excitement go to waste. Use it! If you don't then you will be like all the other dead beat Christians who are warming a pew and wasting their God given talents, abilities, and excitement! God gave you the talents and excitement you have for a reason. You just have to learn how to use them.

More Resources:

• Find out your spiritual gifts by taking a Spiritual Gifts Test
• Where should you serve? Find out by taking The Giftedness and Passion Assessment

13 Characteristics of a Growing Church: Humility

I bet you know this person...everyone does. They always think that their ideas are the best. They know what is going to best for everyone, especially themself. They even have to top your stories because they know or have experienced more than you. You couldn't possibly be in pain because they are hurting more than you. All in all it's just about THEM. Conciously or not they are putting themselves ahead of every other person on the planet. That attitude isn't good for a friendship, a relationship, or a church. In fact, today we are going to talk about the exact opposite--humility!

So here's a quick recap of the Characteristics of a Growing Church:
1st Love Genuinely
2nd Hate What is Evil
3rd Cling to What is Good
4th Devoted to One Another

The 5th characteristic of a growing Church is Humility.
"Honor one another above yourselves." Romans 12:10b NIV

Too many times we get this false picture of humility stuck in our heads. We either equate humility with weakness and allowing ourselves to be walked all over or we think of false humility where we put ourselves down all the time and belittle our talents and strengths so that we actually draw more attention to those attributes. Neither of these ideas are a true picture of Biblical humility. So what is?

According to Romans 12:10, Biblical humility is the ability to honor others above yourself. That means putting others first. I do like how The Message words it when it says that we are to "practice playing second fiddle." When we are truly humble it isn't all about us, which allows it to be all about Christ and those around us.

In Proverbs 22:4 it says, "Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life." There are two things I want us to get out of this #1 we are humble when we put God in His proper place in our lives and #2 our humility and obedience to God are rewarded and honored. In an ironic way, true humility is one of the most beneficial things that anyone could do for themselves.

When we are truly humble and allowing God His rightful rule in our lives then we will want to serve others and put them first. Jesus was the ultimate example of godly humility. Even though He was fully God He came down to earth and became fully man. He put our needs so far above His own that the Bible says He humbled himself and became obedient to death on the cross (Phil.2:6-8). He didn't have to do it. No one made Him. He simply put our eternal needs above His own physical well being. That's a humbling thought.

What can you do to be humble and put other's needs above your own?

More Resources:

13 Characteristics of a Growing Church: Cling to Good

I am constantly amazed at the shear quantity of horrible and stressful things that happen in the lives and ministry of those in the church--and it all happens in the name of God and ministry. Over the past few months I have had a youth ministry friend who has struggled with finding joy in his ministry and his church. Things are piling up all around him and the stress in mounting. Students are flaking on responsibilities while he is given new responsibilities almost daily. He is frustrated and overwhelmed and doesn't know what he should. Today we are going to talk about clinging to what is good. That is my friend's hope right now. He must cling to what is good for it is just as vital in a growing personal relationship with Christ as it is in a growing Church.

So here's a quick recap of the Characteristics of a Growing Church:
1st Love Genuinely
2nd Hate What is Evil

The 3rd characteristic of a growing Church is to Cling to What is Good.
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good." Romans 12:9

There are several different ways that this verse is translated. I love what the ESV says...hold fast. When you cling to something or hold fast to it you basically have a death grip on whatever you are clinging to or holding on to. The key word here is "good". It won't do anything for you or for your church if you are clinging to your bitterness or anger or a dead program. You have to hold fast to what is good.

This same phrase is used in Psalm 63:8 when it says, "I cling to you; your right hand upholds me." Here the psalmist is talking about clinging to the ultimate good which is God. If we are going to have growing Christian lives and churchs then we should cling to God and His will for us and our church. Clinging to God means that sometimes we must let go of the other things that we have been holding on to for so long. Psalm 31:6 says, "I hate those who cling to worthless idols; as for me, I trust in the LORD."

The things that we are holding on to can be good in nature but if we are desperately holding on to them when God is telling us to let them go then they are what the verse calls "worthless idols" and they get in the way of holding on to God. These things that were "good" are now stumbling blocks in our growth and in our walk with Christ. Sadly that is what is wrong with many of our churches. We are dying because we are too busy holding on to the "good" things that we have always done instead of holding on to God. Sometimes we must let go of our ideas of what is good and our traditions so that we have our hands free to hold on to God.

More Resources:

13 Characteristics of a Growing Church: Hate Evil

Too many times as Christians we belive that we are better than other people or maybe we go too far to the other extreme that we always show love but we never stop to preach the truth of the gospel. Very rarely does God call us to live in either of these extremes. God is a god of balance and order. He doesn't want us to throw the baby out with the bath water but neither does He want us to allow wolves to live among our sheep. Last time, we talked about Love being the 1st Characteristic of a Growing Church. Today we will talk about the 2nd characteristic.

The 2nd characteristic of a growing Church is to Hate what is Evil.
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good." Romans 12:9

Love and hate are on the opposite ends of the spectrum. They are--by their very natures--opposites. How can we love and hate at the same time? I think in this particular case it's pretty easy because God is telling us the same thing in two different ways. First He told us to have a genuine and accepting love for the people in our lives. Now He goes further to tell us to hate what is evil. We are to accept the sinner but NOT the sin.

This all goes back to what I was saying last time about meeting people where they are, loving them and meeting their needs, and then pointing them to Christ. At the end of the last Bible study I included a clip of Jesus meeting the woman at the well (John 4). Jesus knew before everything about this woman before she even approached. Instead of shunning her He talked to her and met her need. He took the time to tell her about the water of life. He didn't hate this woman, but He did hate the sin that He knew she was living in. After showing her love through his time and conversation then He pointed to the sin that she needed to get out her life.

Jesus showed the same love for a sinner and hate for sin when He had his feet washed by the woman who washed His feet with her tears (Luke 7:36-50). There are so many other examples in the Bible of this love for people and the hate of sin. I know that as people we often fall short of Jesus' example but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't at least try.

This week...meet people where they are, love them unconditionally, and point them away from their sin and to Jesus.



More Resources:

• Woman Caught in Adultery John 8:1-11
• Amos 5:15

13 Characteristics of a Growing Church: Love

This week I have been prepping to preach the Sunday morning and Sunday night services at Villebrook Baptist Church while my pastor recovers from surgery. While I was studying and praying, God laid it on my heart that I should talk about characteristics of a growing church as laid out in Romans. I don't want to give everything away before I preach but I will give you the first point in my 13 point sermon and then for the sake of attention spans, I will break the other 12 points out over the next few weeks. Hope that sounds good to you because that's the plan...so here you go...the sneak preview of my GIANT HUGE 13 Point Sermon...

The 1st Characteristic of a Growing Church is Love.
"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good." Romans 12:9

In the English language, the word love is tossed about WAY to easily! We love pizza. We love going to the movies. We love our favorite sports team--Go Cards! But what does it mean to have a genuine love?

I don't want to go into a ton of detail here about all the different words for love in the Greek language (For more about the 4 Greek Words for Love, Click here to visit my wife's blog). Basically, unlike English the Greek language has several different words for love and each of these words have a unique meaning and usage. The word translated here as "love" is the Greek word "agape". Agape is an unconditionally, Christ-like love.

According to Romans 12:9 a growing church should have a genuine Christ-like, unconditional love. That means that we really have to love people where they are. We can't say "I love and accept you" with out mouths and let our actions show them differently. If you do you can gaurantee that those people will not bother coming to your church again. We are to hate the sin and love the sinner (Jude 1:22-24). When Christ was reaching out to people around Him, He didn't tell them how awful they were or how bad their lifestyle was. First, He met their need and showed them love. Then He told them to turn from their sins and from their ungodly lifestyle and they did.

That's what it means to have a Christ-like love!

A growing church meets sinners (every single one of us) where they are, shows them the unconditional love of Christ, and then through that love and relationship points them to Christ!

More Resources:

Peacekeepers

This morning I was thinking about The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I don't know if you have read the books or not. Over the holidays, Christiana and I listened to them on audiobook while we travelled back and forth spending time with our families. It was odd to think about it this morning though. I guess was sparked my thought process was my dwelling on a recent conversation I had about keeping the peace. Then I thought we are the Peacekeepers in the church.

Much like the Peacekeepers in Collins' novel, we are often fake and we only promote a false sense of "peace". We turn a blind eye to what is really going on around us because it is convenient for us to allow the behavior to go "unnoticed" so we don't have to say anything about it. Or we are too busy with our own agendas to have anything to do with it.

Don't get me wrong. Keeping the peace isn't about trying to watch everyone and make sure that they are towing the line or whatever other cliche you want to use. I actually think that there were times where simply letting things go does keep the peace. Just like how the Peacekeepers continued to allow Gale and Katniss to poach because it filled their bellies and provided for Gale and Katniss' families. That's really as far as that analogy goes though and I know it isn't perfect by a long shot.

But what I am getting at is that there is a right and wrong way to keep the peace in a church.

In Ephesians 4:3 God tells us to "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." What exactly does that mean?

I believe that in order to keep unity and peace in the church sometimes we have to swallow our pride and not say the things we really want to--even if they are absolute truth! Sometimes it is better to remain silent (Prov. 17:28). Does that mean that you let everyone walk all over you? No way! What it does mean is using wisdom and discernment when choosing when to speak and what to say and how to say it. I know this is really as clear as mud. For that I truly apologize. It's just so hard to get this out right.

Often keeping the peace relies on our ability to value others more than ourselves (Phil. 2:3). Ask yourself, "If I am brutely honest will I do more harm than good? Am I telling them this to build them up or to tear them down or to cause trouble? What are my motives?" I believe when we take time to stop and consider things then we are doing our best to maintain peace and unity.

Heart of Worship

Worship. Does that word give you a warm uplifting feeling or a feeling of dread? Worship is supposed to be a heartfelt connection with our object of worship (God) but too often we only think about the music during our Sunday morning church service and whether or not we like that particular kind of music. But it's so much more than just Sunday morning music.

According to Dictionary.com worship is:

• Noun
1. reverent honor and homage paid to god or a sacred personage, or to any object regarded as sacred.
2. formal or ceremonious rendering of such honor and homage
3. adoring reverence or regard
• Verb
1. to render religious reverence and homage to
2. to feel an adoring reverence or regard for (any person or thing)
3. to feel an adoring reverence or regard

As people, we are easily distracted and too often our worship (honor, homage, regard, reverence, etc.) is paid to something or someone other than our Lord and Savior--Jesus. But that's not really what I want to dwell on today. I want to talk about having a heart of worship.

If you have a heart of worship you can worship no matter where you are or what kind of music is being played. It shouldn't matter whether there are hymns playing or more current choruses you should be able to worship. Worship is a matter of the heart. It is you coming before God and giving Him your honor and your attention and all you are. Music is secondary. Don't let the secondary distract you and keep you from worshipping God.

So the next time you are tempted to complain that the worship service isn't playing your kind of music check to see if your attention and regard are directed to the right person. If you are focused on God the rest won't matter as much.

Heart of Worship
when the music fades
all is stripped away
and i simply come
longing just to bring
something that's of worth
that will bless your heart

i'll bring you more than a song
for a song in itself
is not what you have required
you search much deeper within
through the way things appear
you're looking into my heart

chorus
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
and it's all about you
It's all about you, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the things i've made it
when it's all about you
it's all about you, Jesus

King of endless worth
no one could express
how much you deserve
though i'm weak and poor
all i have is yours
every single breath

The Ebb and Flow of Student Ministry

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “It was going so well, but now our numbers have dropped. What happened?” Asking these questions is perfectly normal. It happens to just about every student minister (or pastor for that matter). This is what I call the ebb and flow of ministry.

Although everyone deals with the ebb and flow of ministry, I am going to deal specifically with student ministry. I will talk a little bit about why it happens and then I will suggest some of the best way that I know how to combat it. So let’s get started!

What causes a Student Ministry to Ebb?
Most of the time an ebbing or dwindling in the number of students in your ministry is a combination of a bunch of little things rather than one big event. Some of these things are unavoidable—like graduating senior going off to college. Some are common but should be combated—student’s who leave because of clicky teen groups or teen drama.

The last three reasons that a student ministry can ebb are the most heartbreaking:

1. Students can’t commit to coming to church on a regular basis or don’t like the conviction they feel when they are at church. So they quit.
2. Major conflict in the church and the whole family leaves. This could be conflict between two groups of parents or between the parents and the church staff or even between two groups of students. Whatever the situation, there may be students and possibly whole families who leave even if everything that can be done is done to resolve the situation.
3. Students get tired of the hypocritical behavior of the student minister and/or his family. Sadly, I have seen this happen before. Sometimes the student minister is the culprit and sometimes it’s his kids or both. It can be particularly hard on a youth group if the youth minister has teen kids who are angels at church but mean and malicious to students at school or in the community and the youth minister does nothing to stop it.

What can You do to Sustain the In-Flow of Students in your Ministry?
Yes, much of what we just talked about it out of your control. No, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have any effect on it or the outcome of the situation. We talked about three major reasons that students leave a student ministry so I want to talk about three of the best ways I know to bring students into a student ministry and to keep them there.

1. Teach the Word. Don’t be afraid to go deep. I was reading the statistics the other day and the student ministries who have the most retention of students and dedicated students are the one who are digging deep into the Word. You will still have the students that will show up once a month and you will have the ones who quit because this isn’t their cup of tea, but the students who are hungry for the Word will stay.
2. Encourage group unity and a place where students will be accepted. I dealt with a lot of rejection and being made fun because I have always been a big guy so I have a particular passion for making students feel accepted. We try to do activities where students are forced to mingle and get to know each other. I don’t allow students to call each other stupid or to make fun of what another student is wearing. If I hear it’s happening, I deal with it. I will go to the student responsible and talk to them. It’s hard and I am not always popular but it helps maintain the unity. The youth group maybe the only real family some of these students have.
3. Live what you Preach. Don’t expect students to do what you are not willing to do. If you don’t want them to cuss don’t cuss. If you want them to have higher entertainment standards don’t watch rated R movies or listen to music with inappropriate lyrics. If you want them to witness to their friends and bring them to church then you would be doing the same with students and with your adult friends too. If they don’t see you living up to the standards you are imposing on them then they won’t respect you and they won’t stay for long no matter how many Xbox 360s you might have in your youth room.

Post your ideas for maintaining a student ministry in the comment section. I would love to get feedback and new ideas. Share some with me below.

It could always be worse!

Right now I am having tremendous problem with my back. While it is not the worst pain I have ever felt with it, it still enough that lays me up that I cant go anywhere or do anything. It is very frustrating. I am very frustrated. Well, right I am not because I just spent some time with the Lord and He says:

"It could be worse"

And how right He is. Right now even in my own world there is: 1. My pastor is facing life changes due to diabetes, almost lost his foot, still not out of the woods and is having to be in a wheelchair for who knows how long! 2. One of my favorites students just lost his great grandmother, is being shunned by his immediate family and faces another life change with meeting his other family he has never met before two weeks ago. 3. my former music minister is dealing with recurrence of cancer, all new treatments and meds 4. a friend told us of her friend that was put in a coma due to seizures and 5. one of the lovely ladies of our church is facing knee replacement at a senior age.

"It could be worse"

When this happens I am always tempted to be selfish. to throw a pity party. to worry. with is stupid because not only is worry a SIN but stress and worry makes my back worse. I am not facing any major crisis. I KNOW that i will get better and be back to my obnoxious self soon. I know the Lord will take care of the ministry if i am not there. I KNOW all this stuff.

"It could be worse"

I don't know if anyone will read this. Maybe it was just for me to get it all out. I know this doesn't have to do with ministry except for the fact that all ministers face tests, pain, suffering, stress and problems. so rest in the fact that the Lord is in control He will handle it.

John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world"

"It could be worse"

The Numbers Game

Just got back from youth night at our Fall Revival. Here are my thoughts.

You would think after almost 15 years in student ministry the number of students that show up for an event wouldnt get to me. But tonight it sure did. We have had this youth night for the revival planned for the longest time. Real simple. FREE PIZZA and a more youth friendly service. The student drama team had a drama that was awesome and the students were excited to get kids there. 72 was thier goal.

So all afternoon I kept messages via text, facebook etc that their friends were backing out and some of the regulars weren't even coming. So by the time I left for church I was convinced no one was going to come. I spent the good first 45 minutes of the time there sulking and stressing about students showing up.

Dont get me wrong. My heart was in the right place. I wanted so many students to come. To see lives changed. To see God's power move. But I let it get to me. You think after this much time I realize that God is going to bring exactly who He wants to bring there. The numbers are up to Him, not me.

I won't get into the numbers, but we had more show up then we usually have on a wednesday night. We had 9 new students and alot of parents of our regulars who arent believers came. SO that was awesome. Then the Lord slapped me silly when we had 2 salvations and 1 rededication. Man was I humbled. It reminded me of a important lesson I needed to learn again.

Luke 15:10 (New International Version)
"In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."

Praise the Lord for tonight.

Am I only the youth minister?

I have come to find that most churches break their staff into sections. Or ministries if you may. There is the pastor, associate pastor, Music, children’s and youth. Maybe there is also senior adults, education, missions etc. Everyone has their respected area of focus. The question, I wonder, is when does the areas overlap. And how much say do each staff member get in the overall vision and direction of the church?

First I want to say, that whatever the vision the pastor has for the church, my ministry (students) should fall in line and compliment that vision. You cannot take the student ministry in total opposite of your pastors. The thought here is, does the pastor and the pastor only decide what is best for the church and the vision? I am blessed that I have a pastor that takes a more team approach and likes input from all staff members. But there are some that only go with what the Lord tells them, and think that each minister should just stay in their "area" or ministry.

I think that if you dichotomize yourself and only stay in your bubble then you are missing out on extra blessings. My ministry has always tried (and failed) to help all the ministries of the church where it can. In the children's ministry, our church would not survive VBS if not for the youth that are working. In the music ministry the students help play in the band. When all the ministries come together and work as a team. The whole church does great things. Its not just the youth. the pastoral stuff. the music. Its all parts working as one.

College Students are in Charge! YIKES?

This past Wednesday night I got a call that my grandmother was ill and my grandpa thought we should make a trip to go see her. She is better now, thank goodness. But here is what I learned from this.

We have a philosophy here in our ministry that we let the college students stick around the ministry after they graduate high school. We called them College Help and there are certain standards that they are asked to uphold to be there. High standards that push them to be mature. We spend a lot time training our students when they get the junior/senior years of High School about how to be leaders and how the ministry is ran. Some of them are going into ministry, some are not.

So by time they graduated out HS, they are involved in most aspects of the ministry. This can range from leading worship, giving testimony, being in charge of projects, and some old fashion gopher work. But we train them, we invest in them and we push them. Why do we do this?

The obvious reason is that it keeps them accountable. Keeps them focused and continues their growth in the Christian walk. But with what happened with us on Wednesday, another amazing aspect shines. They know how to run things. Our college students, while we were gone: Did it all. The worship, the games, the set up, the speaking, the prizes, ALL OF IT. They were equipped and ready to go. It pays to spend the effort and time training them for this. Has it been tough? YES. Do they fail? YES. But when they succeed? AMAZING.

I am very proud of them. They did great job. It took off a lot of stress. There are a lot of student ministries out there that remove students as soon as they graduate. If it is done right. Done with organization and hard expectations. Then having them stick around is a WIN-WIN-WIN situation. For you, them and the ministry.

Cardinals Game = Ministry???

Is student ministry strictly for inside the church walls? Having grown up in a split family and not living with either parent. I came to realize that LOVE is often spelled TIME.

Last night I got the chance to take one of our 7th grade students to a Cardinals game. It was the first game he had been to in 3 years and the last time he sat way up high in the nosebleeds. Our seats last night were two rows behind the bullpen. He loved the improvement. Throughout the game I had the joy of watching him just have a blast. He never stopped smiling, he was doing all the cheers (CHARGE!), booing the Brewers, cheering the Redbirds. It was an honor to just see the excitement. It got me thinking.

You know, we only see these students maybe 7 hours a week if we are lucky and they come to everything they can come to. 7 hours! If you think that you can effectively reach and disciple a student in 7 hours a week you need to rethink your ministry. Jesus modeled the fact that He spent a tons of time with his disciples. Living with them, traveling with them and of course teaching them. You have to spend time with students outside of church. You need to take the extra step and be in their lives.

This student’s joy was contagious. It made me digress back to being in 7th grade. Then I only I got to go to one game a summer. In some ways it was more special than being able to go more now. The next thing I knew I was doing all the cheers (everybody clap your hands!), I was booing the brewers and when Holliday hit the 3 run homer the lead, we both went crazy!

I go on about how this student’s home life not the best. How, at 12 yrs old, he is stressed out all the time. But the point of this to realize that I spent a good 6 hours with him yesterday. A lot of talk was about baseball, sure. But there was also plenty talk about home, church events coming up, and just plain encouragement. When Franklin struck out the final batter and fireworks went off. The joy that he was showing, the happiness, the stress free feeling. THAT is ministry. I loved every second of it.

SPEND TIME WITH STUDENTS OUTSIDE OF CHURCH!

How to Give Students Advice.

In view of my last post it got me thinking. Students may not always listen to advice. Many may push that advice in one ear and send it out the other. Still, what is the best way to give students advice? They always need help, they always ask for help. What is the best way to do it? Trust me, I am not an expert at all but I offer some pointers:

1. Don’t do it all the time. Trust me. When a student feels that all your relationship is about them sitting there and you telling them how to live. They tune out very quick. You need to build trust with a student first. Spend time with them. Why would someone want to take your advice if you have shown no interest in their lives? Pick your times. Even if that student is asking for advice, it may not be the right time to do it then. Pray and get back to them later.

2. Avoid answering quickly. Let them get everything out before you speak. Even asked them what they want for you. Ask them if they want advice at that moment. Sometimes they realize or you realize that what really is going on, is that they just needed to get some stuff off their chests. If it is a real serious issue. NEVER be afraid to tell them that you want to take some time to pray and see what the Lord says about this issue. Never give into the pressure that you have to answer right then and there.

3. Use personal experiences. Students relate more to you if you are being real with them. Don’t be afraid to open up and share your own mistakes and failures. They need to see that you can relate too. If the topic they are needing advice, and you cant relate to, then guide them to an adult who may have had that struggle. For example, I have never had trouble with alcohol. So I help them find advice from a strong believer who can help them.

4. If you are over head. Admit It. You are not perfect. You don’t know everything. Especially everything about the Bible. If you don’t know the answer, never be ashamed to say that you need to research the topic some more and get back to them. Never give wrong advice because you are embarrassed by lack of knowledge.

5. Don’t get defensive back. Students, especially emotional ones, have a tendency to get very defensive, angry when you push them to a higher standard. If you have the same tendency (like I do!) when they start to attack, don’t attack back. It becomes an endless cycle that helps no one. Be patient with them. Stay Calm. Stop and pray if it gets out of control. But keep the focus off the anger.

I hope this helps. They don’t always listen. But we need to keep trying to push our students to higher standards. We must not give up. We must stay focused on the end results of their walk. (thanks Gene!)

Students Can't Handle the Truth.

I would be a rich man. I would have so much money in the bank. If only I have gotten a quarter for every time that I had a student tell that they want to grow in their walk with Christ and wants help, only to push away that advice and help. Only to respond with anger, lies, selfishness and ultimately sin.

Teenagers are famous for only thinking about what is in the here and now. Famous for thinking on what they “feel” at that moment. Rarely can a student get pass the tunnel vision and see a bigger picture in their lives. No matter how much they think they want the help they need to make it as a follower of Jesus. Ultimately very, very, very few of them can handle it. When you actually tell a student the Truth that they need to hear. When you actually tell them the hard things they need to do. You are met with a range of responses. One response that isn’t there? Thankfulness.

Proverbs 12:15.
The way of a fool seems right to him,
but a wise man listens to advice.

Are teenagers fools? Well according to the above verse. ANYONE who does not listen to advice, is a fool. I have come to the point in my life to where I am very thankful of the people in my life (past and present) who have had the love, yes LOVE, to tell me things I needed to hear. Even when they knew I wouldn’t be happy to hear it. Look what it says. The way of fool seems right to him. When you wear blinders on your eyes and refuse to see past what you want. Life is not good. Teens can be very good at convincing themselves of what God’s will is because they feel so strong about it. Emotions can be very deceiving. The clearest that I have heard God speak to me are the times that I was extremely not emotional.

BUT a wise man listens to advice. I truly believe that students today really do want advice, they do want help. But they want the advice that will agree with what they already want. Teens are also very good at surrounding themselves and seeking advice from people that will not push them, not disagree with them. A person that truly cares for you tells you the hard truths. A friend isn’t someone who tells you “Well, if you feel good about it, then do it” Someone who has your best interest at heart tells you “Well, you really don’t need to do that.“ Students can’t handle the Truth. They say they want it. But they, well most of them, can’t handle it.

Bottom line: A fool does their own thing. Wise people listen to advice.

The First BLOG!

Well. For years people in my life have been telling me to write a book about Student/Youth Ministry. Now 13 years into it, I still feel that I am in no way the right person to tell people how to do student ministry. Yet, people keep on telling to write about it. So, thanks to my duties as a great husband, my wife and just saw the new movie Julie and Julia. My wife (a very wise woman) encouraged that if I did not want to write a book maybe I should start small and write a Blog. So here we are.

I will strive be open, honest, vulnerable and helpful in this blog. Will anything come of it? No idea. Will I start this and then ultimately lose interest? I don't know. All I do know is that I have been on a roller coaster ride in my years in Student Ministry. I have had some incredible highs and some incredible lows. I have seen students do things that blew my mind, both good and bad.

My heart has been extremely blessed and my heart has been extremely broken.

My hope would be that the people out there that might read this will be blessed. I think I have some good ideas for Student Ministry. Especially for those out there trying to start up a ministry. Even though I have my degree from Southwest Baptist University and am a Ordained minister, I dont know everthing. My hope would be that people would see the love that I have for students and for my Lord in this blog. Some of my standards in life will offend my fellow ministers and maybe some of my students but that is ok. I strive to a life that is Holy and Set Apart. I fail all the time.

None of this blog is to be taken as the right answer or a quick fix. It is only my outlet to see I really "know" anything about Student and Youth Ministry. If I come across conceited or close minded that is not my goal. This blog is about Surviving Student Ministry. Which, after 13 years, I am still trying to do. I am currently the Youth Minister at Villebrooke Baptist Church in Hazelwood, MO.

A special thanks needs to be said to all those who have encouraged me over the years to write about Student Ministry. So thanks to Darren, Bob, Kenny, BJ, COMER, Dan, Jingle, Troy, Chad, Jackley, Grubby and My lovely bride and best friend.

I have made it this far. Here goes...something?.....